BREAKDOWN

So it finally cracked, had a mental breakdown finally, guess those misery filled weeks finally caught me up. I had 2 placement drives, they went awful, AWFUL. I regret choosing computer science, regret picking this university, and regret not making better friends. 
Today was the day, I needed someone's shoulder to just lay down and cry on, I needed a good hug today saying "it is fine". 
Who would've believed college can get this depressing, lonely. Imagine the irony, being lonely in the Garden city, being lonely in one of the most crowded colleges you would find in the country. I lashed out today at people, my classmates, nearly my parents, I did apologized to them, but this need to stop, and stop soon. So, I have already suspended my insta, from now on watching those friendship/romcom movies either, no more reading those books either, atleast need to pause it for some "embargo" period. 
I don't want to be a weirdo by asking chatgpt for help regarding this, I plead myself to endure this phase by myself only. Onto tomorrow ig. I have high planes/hopes for tomorrow, a morning run to vent out all this inner thoughts and then either a movie to distract myself or a meeting with someone to clear everything up. So tomorrow's a big day, hope it has it's desired impact on my physical and mental health too.