STOIC

Ofcourse I broke down today too, there's gotta be a week where something or someone forces me to, but guess I should be getting used to this now. How do normal people handle this, I don't know why, but I can't take this, it gets overbearing most of the times, espeically when you don't have someone on your side to comfort you or support you. I thought of giving the counsellor, we have in the college, a try, but changed my mind at the last minute (ofcourse I did).  
I wish I was stoic or emotionally numb, I seriously think that emotions aren't for me, I can't control it, usually I am the one dancing on their beats instead. I don't want to be a narcissist but how do people do this, how do they stay happy/jovial all the time, is it a mask too that they wear in public? Many questions, there are many questions that needs answering, I guess I will be getting those answers at the right time (I atleast hope that).